Diet is a dirty word (and Lent is helpful)

I started to fall into a rut towards the middle of last week. I was frustrated that the numbers on the scale hadn't moved in a while. I deviated from my diet several days in a row, and I was losing sight of all of the reasons I started this journey. I was more focused on losing pounds, than getting fit, and beating myself up over not meeting some goals I had set for myself. I started thinking about what I could do to help get myself back on track. Along with revisiting some of my intial goals and adding some new (and sometimes silly ones), I also realized I need to change the way I'm approaching this whole thing.

I realized, quite quickly, that the first thing that has to go out the door before I can get over this case of the doldrums is my focus on dieting. I'm not dieting...I'm changing my entire outlook towards food and teaching myself how to consistently eat well all the time. Now, I'm not talking about the word diet in the context of "The American Medical Association suggests the following for a healthy, well balanced diet..." I'm talking about the "ZOMG!! I just read in People magazine that Beyonce lost 25lbs doing the rice and chili pepper smoothie diet!"

The word "diet", in the context in which I (and many of us) have been using it, has a negative connotation that indicates, at some point, a goal weight will be attained, the diet will cease, and I can go back to doing whatever I felt like doing. That's so totally not the case here. I am changing my entire lifestyle. My ultimate goal is to live a longer, healthier, fitter life. Changing my eating habits so that I am eating more fresh fruits and vegetables, more lean meats, and less processed sugars and flours, less fat, and less (read: no) fast food is not a diet. Simply enough, it's just the right way to eat! "Diet" implies something like Jenny Craig, the cabbage soup diet, medically assisted weight loss, pills, and any of the other thousands of "quick" weight loss plans out there. These do nothing to help a person learn how to eat for nutrition and sustinance (rather than emotion, convenience, etc). Calling what I am doing a "diet" is doing nothing but sabotaging me.

A "dieter" will beat themselves up mentally over deviating from "The Diet" and eating a cookie or having a small piece of birthday cake. A "dieter" will have "cheat days" where they can fall off the wagon completely and eat whatever they want in whatever quantity they want. A "dieter" will more than likely spend many, many days of their lives "dieting" and few days of their lives losing weight, keeping it off permanently, and feeling great about themselves. That's why most diets out there are called "Fad Diets" or "Crash Diets"...they're not meant to change a person's lifestyle for life, they're meant to give them a quick fix before bikini season or some other big event.

A person who has committed to changing their lifestyle, who consistently makes healthy choices, knows that she can indulge in a small piece of cake or a cookie every now and then and it's ok. A lifestyle changer will not need "cheat days" because they either no longer want the bad foods out there or because they allow themselves the occassional indulgence (which takes away the taboo that they're doing something wrong by "cheating" on eating well). A lifestyle changer will spend some days of their life planning out delicious, nutritious meals for herself and her family. She'll spend days shedding weight and she will know that weight is gone FOREVER.

Along with the big D word, the phrase "cheat day" has got to go, too. I can't think of a single time that cheating is acceptable-- not in school, not in a marriage...and then there is that little phrase about winners never cheating and cheaters never prospering. So, using that mindset, the whole concept of a "cheat day" when it comes to eating does nothing but set a person up for failure, one bite at a time.

What I am learning is that even the healthiest people indulge from time to time. But, when they do indulge, they limit themselves. They do not go overboard, and their sweet tooth or salty craving (or whatever) is satisfied. They also know healthy ways to indulge. I feel that if I allow myself to have a whole day or even just a meal, I am doing myself a disservice. If I instead, allow myself to indulge my cravings in a healthy way, when I get them, I will not even contemplate going off the deep end and eating like crazy. And, from what's happened in the past, one cheat day a week soon leads to two, then three, then finally you're not cheating anymore because you're no longer eating well to begin with.

So how does one "indulge" in a healthy way? I have a sweet tooth...if you know me at all, you know this. Instead of eating a whole candy bar when I have an urge for something sweet (or, worse, waiting until I have a cheat day and eating a whole molten lava cake or something crazy), a healthy approach would be to allow myself one Hershey's Special Dark miniature. Dark chocolate in moderation actually has health benefits (hello, antioxidants) and one piece of rich dark chocolate is usually enough to kick a craving. We just think we need the whole bag. If I'm at a get together and there are a lot of unhealthy dips and foods, along with a veggie and fruit tray, I try to fill a majority of my plate with the fruits and veggies. The less room on my plate, the less likely I am to fill it full of stuff I don't need. I will, however, leave a small spot for 5 or 6 chips and a small spoonful of dip or 2 or 3 little meatballs or smokies. Then, I eat all the fruit/veggies first, and save the "bad" food for last- like a treat. I have actually been doing really well with this approach. I made a King sized Hershey's Special Dark bar last over two weeks (at WORK, mind you) by eating one little piece every so often. At one point, I had even forgotten I had it. I am so proud of myself for this because I believe I'm finally learning portion control, and eating when hungry/craving versus eating when bored.


Food isn't a reward, and it definitely isn't taboo, so there is no reason why anyone needs to cheat on themselves with it.

That brings me to another word (well, phrase, really) that I am working to remove from my vocabulary-- "losing weight" or "losing inches" . I lose my keys, socks and shoes, my cell phone, coupons, hair ties and clips, and various and sundry other things all the time. I'm what you would call "scatterbrained" (lovable, but scatterbrained). With each of these items that I lose, comes the hope that I will soon find them again. I don't know about any of you, but the weight and inches I am able to banish from my body by eating right and exercising will be gone for good. I don't want it back, ever. I certainly don't want to "find" it again at the bottom of an ice cream container or a box of cookies. What does one do with items they no longer want? They throw them away, or more apt to this situation, they get rid of them. So, from this point forward, I am no longer losing weight/inches. I am getting rid of it.

Something else that has got to go (and has been previously attacked in blog form this week): my reliance on the scale, and my reluctance to believe I'm making progress when the numbers don't fall. I read something very poignant after I posted that blog that really, really struck me. A mother, when standing on the scale, is approached by her three year old daughter, who asks "Well, what does it say, Mommy?" The mother isn't happy with the number, but simply looks at the daughter, smiles, and says "It says Mommy is just right." The author went on to write that she explained to her daughters that she went to the gym because some of her clothes didn't fit well, after having their baby sister because her belly got so big, and she needed to make sure she was able to fix that. She makes it a point to NEVER dwell on the number on the scale, and to never talk about how unhappy she is with her body (even if she truly is) in front of her daughters. After reading that, I came across an article discussing how girls as young as THREE have been diagnosed with eating disorders and body image problems. How does a three year old develop body image disorders? They learn from those around them. Their little sponge brains suck up everything we say and do, including when we complain about being fat or not liking the way we look.

I never want my daughter to allow the numbers on a scale define her. I never again want to allow the numbers on the scale to define me, either. We are more than those numbers, whatever they may or may not be. I want L to grow up watching her parents make healthy lifestyle choices. I want her to see us living active, healthy lives, and filling our plates with yummy, nutritional food. I want her to see me as a person she can look up to for positive body image, in a world filled with unhealthy bodies. I do not want her to define her self worth in numbers.

So what does Lent have to do with this?

Lent is a 40 day period between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday when followers (who are generally, but not always, Catholic) choose to give up something (or things) that they enjoy. It signifies when Jesus fasted in the desert for 40 days. People give up smoking, drinking, cursing, carbonated beverages, caffeine, red meat, and all sorts of other things. Anything that is considered a sacrifice for them, they can give up for Lent. Lent is a good way for people to rid themselves of their vices, because, along with all the many other reasons (health, money, whatever), a holier reason is now attached.

This year, I have chosen to give up soda and other beverages containing processed sugar (sweet tea, lemonade, etc). I've also chosen to give up fast food completely (unless it is some kind of extenuating circumstance--like we have no other option for food-- in which case I will get a plain salad without dressing or a grilled chicken sandwich with no bun/sauce), and to give up "cheat days" (which plays along with the idea of a lifestyle change rather than a diet). I will allow myself to indulge from time to time in a piece of dark chocolate or a small slice of birthday cake or the like here and there, but I will not over do it, and I will not allow myself a whole day to waste a week's worth of hard work in the gym.

Soda is going to be a hard one for me. I have cut down on my soda and sweet tea consumption dramatically in the last 8-10 weeks but I still really enjoy a McDonald's sweet tea or an icy cold Dr. Pepper, all too often. I could see I was slowly slipping back into the multiple sodas/teas per day habit that I had last year, and I need to stop that quick. The cheat days aren't going to be as bad for me as I had originally thought. Even on my past, recent cheat days, I hadn't been bringing myself to make that terrible of choices. For one, I think about how hard I work when I'm in the gym (and how sporadically I've been able to go, even though I want to go as much as possible) and secondly, I just really haven't wanted to be "bad". I'm one of those weirdos that doesn't actually mind eating healthy. Fast food is going to be a little bit of a challenge just because it's easy to run out and grab something at lunch, and some fast food joints do offer healthy options. Usually I don't do to terribly when I grab something on the run, but I need to stop doing that if I am going to keep on trying to eliminate heavily processed foods.

I have often read that it takes 30 days to form a habit. So, if I really stick to these "sacrifices" (which, as far as my health is concerned, aren't really sacrifices at all), then I should be able to be completely done with them, even after Lent. I will even have 10 extra days to really solidify the "habit".